Today started out very slow.

I couldn’t sleep at all last night. Maybe dozed off at 4:00 am, but woke up every 30 minutes. This bed is hard. And it’s actually two twin beds pushed together. I guess I got the Lucy and Ricky special…And given the option I will lay exactly in the middle of the bed…can’t do that here, or I’ll fall through. Cool. It’s been slowly separating all week.

I finally get myself up around 11:00, grab some breakfast, or lunch depending on how you define it, either by time or food. Regardless, it’s amazing. I remember it’s Friday–my new lens is supposed to be in! I head to the camera shop.

It’s colder today, like 58, and drizzly. I take my rain coat this time. But good lord it makes me so sweaty. I can’t wear the hood, so I just let my hair get wet. It’s not too bad out, and I don’t really care.

Get to the camera shop and they can’t find the lens. It all looks slightly unorganized. They look around, check drawers, the one guy goes in the back. The man who helped me earlier in the week comes over, says something, walks back to helping someone else. The new guy helping me looks in the cases, behind the register. The other man comes back and picks up a lens from a pile of things. It’s just wrapped in plastic. But apparently it’s mine.

I try it on. Perfect! Exactly what I wanted. And only $117. Much better than $8,000. Grazie!

“You want a bag?”

“Eh…sure. Si.”

He wraps it in bubble wrap, then plastic, then drops it in a bag and I’m out. I’m just walking around, looking for neat little shops.

“Where you from?”

“Memphis, Tennessee. USA.”

“Ah USA. I was going to say you could shop my store online, but not in USA.”

As I’m walking out–“OH!! Memphis, city of Elvis Presley!!”

“Yeah! Si, that’s the one.” He gives me a thumbs up. Actually the first time I’ve heard that here.

I find some stuff Emily and Cody would like, ask a nice man in another store where I should go next. He types it into my phone for me, he doesn’t speak much English– Corso Buenos Aires. Perfect.

I start walking, a nice walk, and about 30 minutes away.

I get there and realize it’s very touristy. Nike, Foot Locker, Zara, H&M. Ugh.

But Muji. I check out Muji and then out again. Down this street for a bit. Then turn the corner. I walk past a bookstore and I can’t resist. Everything is obviously in Italian, but I look around anyway.

Then because I haven’t slept, and I’m hungry again, I start making my way back to the hotel. I stop in at the market for a snack, random things, some salami, a nectarine, some pasta, an orange. Back to the hotel. I keep feeling light-headed or something. I decide it’s because I didn’t sleep.

I walk in and set my things down.

You have got to be kidding me. What the hell???

The bag my lens was in looks like a rat has chewed through it. And it is empty. Completely empty. Shit.

I check my other things. Of course it’s not in there, I haven’t touched it since I left the camera shop. I didn’t feel it, or hear it fall. How?

I sit there for a second. What will bother me more, sitting here eating snacks, wondering if I could have found it, or retracing all my steps? I decide the former will in fact bother me more. A deep sigh.

I put my bag on but leave my stupid rain coat. I’m practically running, scanning every inch of the sidewalk. Checking the gutter, hoping it slipped out and someone randomly kicked it like a piece of trash.

Back to the market, “Ciao. Did you find a camera lens, wrapped in plastic? Lenti della fotografica? I dropped it somewhere.” No, he hasn’t seen it, so sorry. Ugh.

Running across the street, back down to where I was.

Ok, I crossed here, then turned here, then what is that?

A face mask. Dang it. Keep going. Walking, walking, scanning. I’m such an idiot. Don’t even say it, I already know.

The bookstore. Wander around, maybe it rolled under the shelves. Nope. Ask the guy at the register. He hasn’t seen it. He asks his coworker in Italian. Ohhhh no. Haven’t seen it. Shit.

Back out. Ok down here, then turn here and walk for a while. Scanning. Oh! What’s that? Wrapped up half of a sandwich. Okaayyyy. Not it.

Walking, walking. Back to Muji. I ask the guy at the register. He’s so nice. He hasn’t seen it. Checks with every coworker. They haven’t seen anything. He checks the trash. He gives me the number to the store. Call back tomorrow and see if they’ve found it. “I hope you find it. Ciao.” Ciao, thank you for being so kind.

My watch starts buzzing. 20,000 steps. Great, thank you. Only because I’m a complete moron.

Ok, where was I standing when I saw Muji? Cross the street, walking back through. A something! Nope a napkin. Or….underwear. I don’t know. Not my lens.

Shit shit shit.

Slowing down a bit. Ok back down this street. Ah, there’s the church I photographed. The one I thought “Oh, maybe I’ll switch lenses.” And then decided not to. Too much trouble. Ugh. Stupid.

What’s that? A cup.

Check the gutters, look down the stairs to the subway because maybe it got kicked. Nothing.

Oh something in the gutter! Plastic, bubble wrap. That’s gotta be it. It’s like literally in the gutter. Sitting in dirty, murky water. I touch it with the tip of my shoe. It’s squishy. Not my lens. Walk down a bit, then turn around. You know, I bet that was it. That’s gotta be it. I touch it again with my shoe. Squish. It’s not in there. Shit. I look like a psycho. Squishing trash with my shoe, walking away, then second guessing it and doing it again.

I’m starting to feel defeated. I stop at an intersection, look for something that I can remember. Ah, Duravit. This way.

Oh, this is where I thought, “I should drop this at the hotel before I keep going since it’s close” and then just decided to keep walking instead. GAAAAAHHHHH.

Nothing. Nothing. Nothing. Some lady with an umbrella weaving slowly back and forth on the sidewalk. In the way, lady! Come on.

Back to the Elvis guy. Back across the street. Back almost to the camera shop. I’m not crossing the street to the camera shop. It’s gone. I bet it got run over by a car. Or someone picked it up and is enjoying it. I hope so anyway. I don’t like to think someone stole it. It honestly looks like it just ripped through the damp bag.

Guess I’ll find one in Rome.

I walk back to the hotel. I eat the entire package of salami, start packing my new bag. I’m so tired. But my navigation skills are too legit to quit. I’m pretty proud of that. Hopefully I can sleep tonight.